Goals become very powerful neurological levers for change if they satisfy the following in that we believe:
- We can achieve it
- We deserve to achieve it
- We actually want to achieve it
If someone asks me if I can help with quitting smoking I ask the questions above as if any of the answers are “no” or nothing in is place to change the answer to “yes” the goal will not be successfully completed.
A final point around emotional attachment is that completing a goal or quitting something for someone else has no where near the emotional attachment is has if you are doing it for you. I discussed this with a friend last night who asked “what about for my children?” I said I understand his point of view but I think that if you do it for you then your children will benefit by default and you are less likely to relapse.